Not to explain the whole entire story, but I met with my private lessons teacher yesterday afternoon for a good 30-35 minutes, and here are a few of my feelings regarding that meeting.
1. I want to be a music education major. I would have quit after keyboarding 1 if I didn't want to be here. Questioning my motives in a roundabout way is kind of insulting, considering how hard I try, and how much I gave up to come to this university.
2. I am not, nor will I ever be, a grade grubber. The only time that I will publicly question a grade is in a somewhat subjective class, when I want to understand what I can do better the next time. I will voice my opinion when I feel that I have been unjustly graded, but that does not need to result in a change of the grade. It should result in a conversation.
3. Yes, I am the student, and the teacher is the teacher. But when a student comes to you hurting, stressed, and frustrated, shouldn't that be a signal that something isn't working? When I'm a teacher, I don't think that I'll just reiterate my roles as a teacher and go on about my business when a student comes to me. After all, I am a human being.
4. The hardest thing for me to deal with is the fact that it feels like my teacher put me on the spot yesterday and ultimately asked me if I was going to remain a music major because I am "stuck with them for my private lessons requirement" and will not graduate without that. That truly hurts me the most, because with that, I feel like my teacher was insinuating that I would give up what I have been working towards and what I have committed my life to because of one teacher that I do not get along with. It really offends me that he would think I'm the kind of person that would just give up and quit. If he doesn't know that that is not who I am, then what else does he not know? and what else does he think about me?
In trying to be an adult, I think I made things worse for myself.
Ridiculous.
1.15.2011
Post-meeting debriefing
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1 comments:
Do you remember Randy Pausch? He said that walls are there to keep out the people who don't deserve it. Sometimes, teachers say things like that to make sure that we want something hard enough.
I think that our teachers are sometimes in the worst position in the student/teacher relationship, especially in academia. It's so easy to forget sight of the most important thing. We get to study music. Some people in the world just trying to survive. And we get to make music. I try and remember that every day.
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