Some Christmas Thoughts, from me to you

The big week has finally arrived! Christmas is in the air! The kids are out of school, we're saying our final prayers for snow, and there are freshly baked cookies on the kitchen counter, or at least there are in our dreams. But there is also a surplus of RUDE drivers on the road, angry people in line to buy so much STUFF and THINGS, and I think most of us feel some level of holiday guilt. And that just sucks, doesn't it? 

It's the part of the holidays that no one really talks about. Is it because we think no one else can feel it? Surely, I'm just being a Scrooge. Or maybe we hope that it if we pretend it's not there, it will just slip away in the night. Sometimes, I think we want so badly to experience the happiness and joy depicted in holiday commercials and movies and books and engagement pictures and Christmas letters and ANYTHING ELSE, that we try to fake it 'til we make it. To join the cookie bakers and the Secret Santa-ers, the shoppers and the soup kitchen volunteers, the decorators and the party hosts. While those are all really wonderful and beautiful traditions, I think it's important to say that not feeling that commercialized Christmas Spirit and not wanting to do these things does not make you a bad person. 

Surrounded by so much nostalgia, we can't help but feel a flood of memories at Christmas time. Because this is REAL LIFE, and real life can be sad, lonely and unfair, it's not always going to bring to the surface that one memory of your favorite Christmas morning when you were 9. And in adulthood, even the happiest memories bring a certain sense of reverence and sadness, because after all, they are memories. They're in the past, not the future. People pass away, relationships end, jobs are lost, and childhoods expire. And no matter how badly we may wish to go back and relive those precious moments, we can't. 

This is the part where I should probably say, "and this is why we must make new memories!" Which I do believe to be true, but instead, I want to say this: it is for all of these depressive and even debilitating thoughts and feelings that a Savior was born. In a humble manger, surrounded by nothing but animals and straw, a beautiful young woman, Mary, brought our Heavenly Father's Only Begotten Son into this mortal world. Without this birth of our brother, Jesus Christ, the most important event that ever did and ever will take place on this earth would not have happened. The Atonement - Christ's suffering for our sins, afflictions, sicknesses, injustices, and heartbreaks - is the only thing that can truly heal our hearts this Christmas, next Christmas, and all 365 days in between. If we allow Him, He will lift us up and carry us through our trials of faith. All He asks is that we live our lives as He did - serving, loving, and putting God's will for us ahead of the agendas we make for ourselves. In what is often a season of incredible heartache and pain, we are in an incredible position to best celebrate and utilize the healing and enabling powers of Christ's Atonement. 

My prayer this year is that you and I will stop comparing everyone else's best to our worst. That we will forget - if for just a minute - about masking our emotions with cookies and presents (which I love - don't misunderstand me!) and focus on our brother, advocate, and friend, Jesus Christ. That amid our inevitable afflictions, we can find hope and light, and a reason to smile. That is what Christmas is really about, y'all. Because of Christmas, my broken heart can and will be made whole. And that is beautiful. 

2014 in a Nutshell

One the most personally disappointing things about not having kept up with this blog is the "What I learned this year" list I used to make. I've been meaning to keep up with at least those, which I made a couple times at the end of a school year. They're so awesome to look back on and relive moments (both happy and sad) from those years. But now that the end of the year is approaching, and it's been a whole year since I graduated from college (WHAT?!), I think there's no better time to make a new list than right now. So here we go.

The Things I have Learned in my First Year as an Official College Graduate

1. Things are no more glamorous now than they were before. If anything, they're much much less glamorous. I feel even poorer now that I'm employed than I did as a "poor college student." And maybe I pictured graduates as suddenly having more perks or something, but that's definitely not the case. #economyproblems #teacherproblems

2. A degree also doesn't help you get more dates. It feels quite the opposite. I don't see men ever anytime anywhere and haven't met a new man in what basically feels like years. At least in the music building, cute new 18 year-olds would show up and I could "meet" them. Which really just turned into "mothering" them. Anyway, I digress. But I think I'm overeducated now for jobs AND dates.

3. I may be a plant killer, but I can keep a cat alive. And maybe even happy. 

4. I can run! I may not be very good at it, but I can do it. I ran a 10K this year, and I may have basically finished last, but I finished - and honestly enjoyed it. The secret is in the playlist. And really liking the color of your shoes. 

5. I'm a good cook! The idea of cooking without a recipe has always terrified me, but sometime in the last several months, I realized that I tend to veer from the recipe anyway. But it always comes out really well! I don't know where I learned any of my cooking tricks (besides the few basics from my mom), but I'm not half bad. That being said, don't look for me on Chopped or Cupcake Wars anytime soon. 

6. This year, I was fortunate enough to be able to take a big step and receive my endowments. I have always loved the temple, but I've been feeling like the time to take that step was fast approaching. The day was really great, of course, but the best part of it has been all the blessings and opportunities that have come because of it. When I went through, I knew that I wasn't really going for myself or for the one day - I knew that I was going so that I could continue to go often, be able to personally stand in place of my family members and ancestors in those ordinances, and also support my friends in their own journeys to the temple. And that is exactly what I have experienced. It has been so wonderful to attend one of my best friends' temple sealings, do the work for countless grandmothers, aunts, and cousins, and to truly find a peaceful sense of belonging within the temple walls. My Patriarchal Blessing encourages me to make the temple my home away from home, and I can honestly say that I have worked towards and felt that this year.

7. You've Got Mail is the movie of all movies for me. My love for that movie has increased like crazy this year. I don't know why, but I regret nothing. I too love New York in the fall and believe in going to the mattresses, although sometimes it IS personal, and not business. Sorry, Joe Fox. And if I ever get 152 pot-marks on my face, I hope I'm still half as handsome as 1998 Tom Hanks.
8. This year, I caught the family history bug. Thanks to The Church's new partnership with ancestry.com, I was able to connect with other users and find never-before-seen photos of my cute ancestors. Finding information about these awesome people has never before been easier, and if you haven't linked your FamilySearch account with ancestry.com yet, you are missing out! And if you don't have a FamilySearch account yet, you're killing me smalls.
9. Sam Smith is a talented human, and I can't get enough of him. He is one artist that I was more than happy to fall in love with this year.
10. Which reminds me: I LOVE going to concerts. I realized that this year. It all started with dear Lionel Richie. I wept at his concert like a 13 year old meeting the BSB for the first time in 1998. (If you want to know the song that sealed my love for him, you can listen here. But you've been warned.) I also got to see my dear Andy Grammer for a second time, Neon Trees (which was fine - it was free), and the incredible Bastille. (That's another album that I fell in love with this year.) There is just something about seeing your favorite musicians perform live, physically in front of you. It's so incredible to watch them share their talent with you for just a little while. I didn't really go to any concerts until this year!
11. I'm really good at keeping my cool in really not-cool circumstances. Which is really just a cryptic way for saying that I'm good at my job. I have had a handful of really really really mean customers this year (I've worked at LR for a year now!) and I can remember each one with a great amount of detail. It's hard when an unhappy customer takes to a personal level and makes you feel like you are personally responsible for their situation, and that you're basically a monster for not being able to wave a magic wand and fix everything for them. But the good news is that I apparently don't sound upset, even though my heart is racing and my blood pressure is spiking. So there's a talent. Ha.
12. I have completely lost all ability to flirt like a normal, non-creepy person. So there's that. Graduating college has decreased my exposure to men, as mentioned, and this is just the first of many effects I'm sure.
13. One more important lesson I have started to learn this year is the art of being still. Particularly in the spring, I felt really strongly like that was the point of this new period of my life - to learn how to be still. To let things be as they are, not force anything to happen, and even to not necessarily search for potential opportunities (or more like...panic about not having any potential opportunities). I of course believe that you have to make your life happen and not just sit idly by, but I think there is something special about being content and happy with what you have. The truth is that I'm extremely blessed - I have a supportive family, a good job in a great environment, and more incredible friends than a girl could ever want. To constantly yearn for something "bigger and better" would be to ignore the bigger and better that I already have. While it's not always been comfortable or my top priority, 2014 has been a year of stillness. And that's pretty great.
14. I think I finally learned how to paint my nails like an adult. So that's cool.
15. Lastly, I have learned more about the Atonement and my Savior this year. And I don't know if there's anything greater for us to learn about in this life than our Savior and what was His ultimate purpose in coming to this earth. I think this personal increase in knowledge and appreciation is in part because of my endowment, but mostly because of the day to day pains, sadness, and heartache that comes with life. Life is hard you guys. Sometimes, your heart will break, and crying yourself to sleep is all that you can do to pass the time, and somehow, you last through the night to see another day. Other times, your worries about the future will be so abundant and feel infinite, but that Still, Small Voice will whisper that it's okay, and you'll move forward, maybe no wiser, but at least a little calmer. Faith is such an incredible tool and it has the power to heal an infinite number of emotions, feelings, and even physical realities. I know that. I also know that my Savior knows me by name, and even when I feel unimportant and very insignificant, He loves me, and because of that love, His Atonement covers my sins, pains, and broken dreams. And that is a most beautiful gift.

All in all, 2014 has been what a post-graduation year should probably be. Somewhat exciting, somewhat mundane. A little happy, a little sad. Very memorable, and still very formative. I am only 23 after all, you guys. That's like 8 years old in adult years. Or at least that's what all my 30 year-old friends seem to think. But really. :)

Plaid Season

Hello world! Long time no see!

How have the past 2+ years been for you? Mine have been both eventful and mundane, but such is the life of a 20-something, right? I've decided to attempt to resurrect this blog for a few reasons:

1. My hilarious thoughts should probably be written down once in a while. It's getting very full inside my head!
2. There are always a few social/political/pointless issues that I would like to discuss, and this lonely blog seems like my best option.
3. The name of the blog is "There's more to life than music," which I created in my collegiate angst and longing to get outside of the music building. I wanted an outlet for discussing and dreaming about anything and everything unrelated to what I was doing every single hour of every single day. I considered changing the name before making this post, but the truth is...I'm now living my life completely away from the music building and almost completely away from music (I now work for a cute swimwear company) and so I think I owe it to my old, boxed-in self to keep the name and write about life on the outside. If anything, the name of this blog probably rings more true now than it did before. So it's about time that I started actually covering the topics of the (now) non-musical adventures I always hoped to have.

Now, lets be honest. I realize that the only people that will read this are my mother, maybe my boss, and hopefully the future Mr. Motz (only because if there's a man out there willing to regularly read this, he MUST be my husband). But that's fine. Maybe one day I'll write a genius post about the ins and outs of cat-ownership or how to find $4 dresses at GAP and it will go viral and I'll make the big times. Maybe I'll even be offered a sweet journalism gig writing nothing about nothing, Seinfeld style, but until then, welcome back to my little corner of the internet. Here are some visual updates for you:

A picture of my new (to the blog) cat:

His name his Henry. He enjoys asking for food, using his head to encourage me to put my phone away, and waiting for me to wake up.

A picture of my new (AKA: LAST WEEK) haircut, complete with bangs:

Hello, 4th grade. Nice to see you again. I haven't had bangs like these since I was 10 (which was my definition of a big girl age) and begged my mom to let me grow them out. You can find the last known documentation at my parents' house. Also, thank goodness for plaid season. Am I right? 

And finally, here is a picture from my day trip to Zion's back in October: 

I went down to St. George to run in a 10K that I had verbally committed to do with a friend. But let's be honest, I was most excited that my friends offered to take me Zion's afterwards so that I could fangirl over nature. This is one of my favorite shots that I captured. Nature - namely Utah - is just so gosh darn beautiful. I'm so lucky to call this place home.

Until next time,

Amberley