Day 5 - Jury and Conducting final

Oh hello again.

Day 5: Picture of your morning

This morning was my Jury! I don't really want to talk about it. But at least it's over. For anyone who doesn't know, music majors are required to perform a "jury" at the conclusion of each semester. A panel of professors sit behind a table, and you play a solo piece (usually with piano accompaniment) and they fill out evaluation forms, exchange pleasantries, and usually pass you. It's kind of the culmination of your semester as a music major, and it's a lot easier when it's over. I don't get very nervous for them though. It seems pretty routine.

I also had my conducting final, to which Scott actually said, "you have some natural talent." And if you know Scott, you know that's a mighty big compliment coming from him. So that was surprising. I feel like there is much to be desired when it comes to my conducting skills. I'm not pro by any means. But it went well. I did Irish Tune, by Grainger (which holds a special place in my heart, thanks to Scott McAdow), and Profanation, by Bernstein. :)

Note: I wrote "jury" backwards on that paper so it would show up correctly. Yeah. That's right. I'm a boss. 

Now it's on to studying, and maybe a trip to the temple/Deseret Book. I kind of want to eat at the Lion House too. (I have to hit up Temple Square while I can! I'll miss it when I'm back home!) I have a music history test and a musicianship appointment to study for, as well as a paper to write. Good heavens. Stay tuned for that really great news I mentioned last night.... my fingers are still crossed that it will go through!

The audition of a lifetime!

For those of you that weren't aware, for the past 13 months, I have been gearing up for my audition for the Disney College Band. In short, it is an internship-like position, with a weekly stipend. Disney houses the band at the Resort, and they perform Tuesday-Saturday for roughly 8 hours a day. It's about an 11 week program over the summer, and I knew I would be competing for 1 of 2 spots in the band. That being said, I knew I was up for the challenge. I've never wanted anything so badly. (Except maybe to be in the BOA Honor Band for the Rose Parade in 2008/2009. But you get the idea.) 

Well, you guessed it. My audition was today! I arranged to have my sister and brother-in-law put me up for the weekend, and reserved the plane ticket. I flew into Burbank on Friday evening (with a brief layover in the beautiful Oakland! road trip now, please...) and have been hanging out with my adorable nephew all weekend. On to the actual audition!

We left not-so-bright and early this morning and journeyed to Anaheim. (Important note: I ingested 2 capsules of passionfruit under Blythe's prescription. Google it. It totally calms you down.) Finally, after some run-around to find the location of said audition, we ended up on "Cast Lane," waiting outside of some fancy, high security, yellow building that houses sacred secrets to the magic of Disney. Probably. But it did have 2 things I'd like to note for my own personal amusement:

1. Uptight old men, dressed as security guards. There's something non-threatening about official badges with Mickey Mouse ears on them, however. Not too intimidating. Try again, Disney.

2. MY FAVORITE SOAP. Now, if your name is either Blythe or Alyse, you know how much I have been obsessing about my favorite kind of soap for the last couple of days. To make a long story short, the big yellow building had it. I knew it was meant to be when I discovered it. Disneyland is truly magical.

So anyway, I was waiting with a growing group of auditionees for further instruction. Around 8:45 am, "Marie" came to get us. I liked her shoes. Her voice, however, was kind of similar to Kristen Chenowith's voice. High pitched, questionably peppy, and eventually just flat out annoying. She was definitely cute though. After counting us and getting us access past the Mickey Mouse Club security guards, she took us past the gate, where we stood some more. It was the epitome of "hurry up and wait." This is where I struck up a conversation with the horn player next to me. Not worth explaining - just know that we ended up hanging around me for the remainder of the day. He was a less awkward version of Stephen - a Clarinet player at the U, from American Fork. 

Eventually, we were herded farther backstage (to where I went back when I did the Rose Parade and the band performed at Disneyland, actually) and a nice loud man (named, Hans) debriefed us on where individual auditions would take place, how to sign up for them, and everything else we needed to know. Luckily, saxophones and horns/mellophones were in one room and everything else in another. This meant that our line was SIGNIFICANTLY shorter. I signed up for my time after Stephen's twin, which was 10:15. At this point, I had a little over an hour until my audition. People in the back of the other line got times as late as 3:30 pm. (As other people arrived, the times were later and later. When I left, the latest I knew of was 5 pm. And it was a girl from BYU! Crazy.) 

I chilled out, met some people (not past first names and schools), and waited to warm up. I was one of 4 horn players (at the time, at least) and the ONLY one that also brought a mellophone. A lot of auditionees came in groups from their respective schools. It reminded me a lot of region band in high school - everyone together in their cliques, sizing each other up, and pretending to care about fine details of strangers' lives. When there was a little over half an hour to my audition time, I went around the corner to the open parking lot that was designated for our warm up area to warm up and run through my music. Afterwards, I made a quick trip to the bathroom and also filled up my water bottle. I meandered back to the warm up area and gathered my instruments to head inside.

Waiting by the room, I witnessed the Stephen look-alike go into and come out of his audition. He was at 10 am, right before me. I wished him luck, etc. When he came back out, rather quickly, he looked very unhappy and attributed it to the fact that Rick (who auditioned us) didn't ask him to sight read anything. He assumed that meant he wasn't worth his time, and was obviously disappointed. It was really sad to see him. I wished him luck and tried to reassure him as I went in for my audition. 

I went in to the sound room, and Rick had stepped out for whatever reason. As I situated myself, I felt confident and tried to focus on being excited. This was the moment I had been waiting over a year for! I just needed to have fun, and let my enthusiasm show. There was a small collection of Wenger chairs in front of the stand, and I pushed them out of the way. I was going to stand. Rick came back, and asked me for my name, hometown, and school. As I mentioned the University of Utah, he rather unenthusiastically said, "oh, [pause] so you know Brian Sproul?" and I enthusiastically answered, "yes! I work very closely with him! I'm actually flying from here to Las Vegas to meet him for a basketball tournament." His responses skipped a few beats. He slowly told me about their camaraderie back east, and, to my surprise, mentioned his divorce - OF ALL THINGS. What?! But I nodded and shared his sad sentiments. Rick couldn't remember his wife's name, and I prompted him, "Marty" as he asked who has custody of Jeff! ...what?! I said that he is usually with Brian, but Marty still lives in the area, teaching junior high band. Anyway, after this odd exchange, I introduced the Mozart I was playing. Went through it, played Rhapsody in Blue, and then he stood up and walked around the room a little bit. I think he was going to move on, but then motioned to my mellophone as an afterthought - "Oh, did you want to play anything on your mellophone?" I answered that I had prepared some Stars and Stripes Forever, and proceeded to play some. He ended up motioning to me before I was actually done - which was totally fine. I take it that he didn't need to hear much more. He sets this MASSIVE binder on my stand for sight reading. Literally MASSIVE. He opened to an Earth Wind and Fire medley. Thankfully, I didn't bomb it. The second one was a mysterious piece with a questionable title. Weird syncopation. Different key. Awkward. The last one started off pretty poorly and eventually came out to "When you wish upon a star." Unfortunately, I missed the F# from the key, and he said "oh no. Mickey's not happy..." and pointed to the key. Even though sight reading was overall a little squirrelly, I smiled through it and tried to be charming.

After all the playing, he asked, "So how long is the flight out here?" Seemed like an unnecessary question to me. I'm sure he didn't really care. "I had a brief layover, but about 3 1/2 hours. Not too bad." He nodded, and then asked what I think was the perfect ending question - "and did you come with a group?" I answered with the negative, and was happy to report that it was just me. He nodded and possibly commended me for coming out by myself. I thanked him for his time and wished him a good day. 

And that was it. I was escorted out, and met back up with Dawn, John, and William. I feel really good about the whole situation. For everything I prepared, there's not a thing I would change. Sight reading really couldn't have gone any different. I wish I would have mentioned that I know Katy Stearns (whom he knows from 2009, and whom I know from high school) but I forgot. That's okay. I'm confident that I have a fair shot. And it was such a great feeling to be all alone, as silly as that sounds. Not knowing anyone there was such a strength to me. Just as Rick alluded to on my way out. There are so many coincidences and little tiny connections that I have noticed over the past year that make me feel like it's meant to be. Or if it's not quite meant to be, then it's at least now or never. 

I'll hear back in 2 weeks. 

Stay tuned. :)

Click here to find youtube videos about the audition process and to learn more about what the band actually does! 

Expectations

As an instrumental education major, there are a lot of people and aspects of my life pulling me in completely different directions. On one hand, I need to master my craft (French horn) and on another, I want to develop the skills that will be necessary to have under my belt as a band director. As of late, this natural conflict has been killing me.

I'm really unhappy with my private lessons. I feel like I try as hard as possible... given my current circumstances. If you know me, you'll probably agree that I'm not one to make excuses. Maybe to myself, inside my head, I complain. a ton. But the Amberley that you all see and interact with? I suck it up and make it happen. When I fail, I wholeheartedly believe that it is indeed MY fault. I am spread so thin, by choice, between all my ensembles, marching band, leadership positions and responsibilities, classes, skills that I'm nowhere near close to mastering, friendships to maintain, connections to make...the list goes on. In short, I have a massive list of expectations to meet. Most of those are non negotiable. The expectations of private lessons, however, should be somewhat negotiable.

And they are. Or they're about to be. What I need from lessons is a teacher who understands that my priority is not to be the best horn player in the world, country, western region, or even Utah. I do have that potential, which my teacher has acknowledged, but I do not, however have the ability at this point in time. I would be crazy to say that I don't WANT to be the best horn player I can be, but that is just not my priority. I have a longer list of things that I have, to be frank, placed at a higher rank than my personal success on horn.

I understand that all my teacher sees is my half-hour-a-week lesson. Not my abilities as a section leader, or even a section member. Not my dedication to learning the piano, my determination in sight singing, or my frustrations in conducting. I know how I conduct myself in class and that I never give up or take average as good enough. He does not, and has expressed to me before that he can let me focus on my music education degree and expect very little of me. Again, if you know me, you know that I have never been in a private study, or even an ensemble situation, in my almost 10 years in music. I would never stand for that. The problem lies in finding the middle. There has to be some middle ground between letting me get away with murder and demanding more than I have to give.

Obviously, these feelings need to be expressed - and they will be. Before that happens, I need to identify the basis of my feelings, and pray that I'll be able to control myself and not let my emotions get the best of me. 23.5 credit hours or not, I want to be the best band director that I can be. That is my priority.

I don't think anyone can blame me for that.